Changes

Happy New Year everyone!

2025 is here and, like most people, I've been looking forward to a fresh start. Some are shedding the junk food eating habits they picked up over the holidays, others are finally picking up that book they've been wanting to read for a while, and a few might even be facing their fears and taking a risk.

There's something about the numbers switching from one year to the next that motivates people to change. Working at a gym, I see way more crowds and new faces in the first month of the year than at any other time. People are determined for this to be the year they create healthy habits. They sign up for all the classes, hire a personal trainer, or challenge themselves to come every day, all to the tune of "New Year, New Me."

I'm sure we've all been there. Just like I'm sure we all remember that one day we were too exhausted to keep up the habit and found ourselves right back where we started.

Fun fact: the second Friday of January is unofficially known as Quitter's Day.

We've all made goals that we failed to follow through on. If it's not exercising or eating right, it's something else. It could be learning a new language, changing your career path, not having road rage on the highway---anything, really. Just that one thing we've challenged ourselves to accomplish, knowing it'll take everything we've got and, perhaps, secretly expecting we'll fail.

Because most New Year's Resolutions aren't about a specific "habit" or "goal." They're usually about something inside ourselves we're trying to change.

A lot of the people who keep trying and failing to have a healthier lifestyle every New Year are really trying to change their lack of willpower. The person who's saying this is the year they'll get into meditation and journaling and essential oils is really trying to escape their anxiety and stress. Throwing away everything you know for an entirely different career path can stem from the need to have control over something in your life. The thrill-seekers create goals that will prevent them from falling victim to stagnation.

And almost every one can be traced back to the need to change ourselves.

I'm not saying any of this to deter people from creating a New Year's list. Personally, I love setting goals and dreams for myself. It's something to work for and challenge myself with. But I also know how easy it is to be consumed by this. The mindset of "If I can just accomplish this one thing/lose this amount of weight/change this one thing about myself, I'll finally be happy."

That way of thinking is a trap. Any happiness we feel from accomplishing a goal is temporary. The feeling will fade and we'll be left trying to fill that hole again and again with fleeting success.

Worse is when you don't reach your goal. A failure on its own is a learning opportunity. A failure tied to our happiness can feel like a sign of our weakness.

Unfortunately, a lot of people focus on the fact they failed rather than on how hard they tried. It's not easy to pick ourselves back up and try again when we're telling ourselves we shouldn't be surprised we couldn't do it. That failing is a part of who we are and our past determines our future.

The past will only dictate the future if we let it.

We have to allow ourselves hope. Have to allow ourselves to believe in the possibility of change. As long as you're still breathing, it isn't too late to change.

Humans were designed for change. Everything about us changes. Our height, our hair and eye color, our interests and tastes, our values. We change because life is change. And sure, that change might not always be linear, can even seem to be going backwards at times, but that doesn't mean we aren't progressing.

The goals we strive for and the changes we implement should enhance who we are, not the opposite.

The resolution to exercise more should come from a place of loving our bodies and enjoying movement, not a masochistic desire to punish ourselves for the sake of "attractiveness." Learning a new skill should come from the desire to grow, not the want to seem smarter/cooler/better than others.

Despite the changes we go through in life, at some point we'll find that the core of who we are is consistent. The part of you that makes you uniquely you. And that's not something you should change, it's something you should celebrate.

Happy New Year Y'all!

"There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off."--Proverbs 23:18